I sensed that she was searching for an anchor, for some stability in her life. After listening for some time to her story, and talking through ‘why’ all this suffering, and justifying that God has a purpose for her life and it doesn’t necessarily involve marriage (as the other ladies in the group were making comments in this direction earlier)…. I told her that in my experience, with all the moving around that our family has done, I sometimes feel a bit lost and blown around by the wind, but one thing that has always been an anchor for me is staying attached to the family of God, no matter where we are. I encouraged her to reconnect with the family of God, and I referred her to a group that I knew could be trusted (led by some close friends of mine). Once she returned back, she connected with this group, and found her life changing, but in a positive direction. 

The next time I saw her was 2 months later. There was a peace and calm in her spirit, a softening to the rough edges, and she was in love with her Savior. She was being mentored and restored to health spiritually. She had begun preparing for baptism. I told her there is a verse in Proverbs that says, “Good news brings healing to the bones.” It brought such joy to know she was strengthening her commitment to follow.  
Pray for Zaynab…she has been having health issues and can’t seem to get to the bottom of it.  She still has to work hard in spite of these health issues to make ends meet (her family is poor). Please pray for her. Thankful she has a solid community of believers around her.

Zaynab’s Lament

يا ربي عارفة أنا مقصرة و منيش متذكرتك و منيش إمسلمتلك « أمري و منيش إنشوف في رحمتك

O Lord, I know that I am broken and that I have not remembered you and that I have not surrendered myself to you completely and that I don’t see your mercy.

عارفة أنا بعيدة عليك و عارفة أنا خليت الدنيا أكبر همومي

I know that I am far from you, and I know that I have let the world increase my burdens.

عارفة أنا تغلبت و ضعت و ماعادش عارفة وين نمشي ،

I know that my life has been turned upside down and that I’m lost, and that I no longer know where I am going.

حاسة روحي ورقة في مهب الريح و يمكن هذا يلي أنت اتحب اتوصلهولي باش اترجعني لحضنك ، باش إتفهمني يلي داري و ملجئي و حصني هوما أنت موش الناس

I feel like a bit of paper blowing in the wind and maybe that is what is needed to bring me back to you, to your embrace, to help me understand that

you are my home, my Saviour, my Refuge, you are all of this to me, not people.

معندي علاه حتى نتذمر حتى كان الذنب موش كلو ذنبي

There is no reason to complain, or blame you even though the guilt is not all mine.

أنا مخترتش ولادتي و اسمي و ديني و عقيدتي مخترتش بلادي ولا قدري ولا ناسي ، مخترتش نكون حتى أنثى ، مخترتش عائلتي ، لكن اختيار إني نكون تحت جناحك هو الاختيار يلي مفماش حتى شك فيه أنو اختياري

I did not choose my birth, or my name, or my religion, or my ‘creed’. I did not choose my country, or my destiny, or my people. I didn’t choose to be a woman. I did not choose my family, but the choice to be under the shadow of your wings, this is the choice that leaves me without a doubt.

يا ربي ضيعت الثنية ليك موش عارفه كيفاه نمشيلك

O Lord, I’ve lost the way back to you, I don’t know how to get there.

موش عارفة كيفاه نرجعلك موش عارفة أنت وين … موش عارفة طريقي وين

I don’t know how to get back to you, I don’t know where you are, I don’t know where my way is.

يا ربي إذا كان قدري انعيش فاشلة و تعيسة

Oh Lord, if my destiny is to be miserable and a failure, teach me how to accept it

علمني نتعايش مع نقصي ، علمني نتونس بيك في ظلام ليلي ،

Teach me how to live with my limitations, show me how to stay close to you in the dark of my night.

علمني إنخرج مني النسخة الاصلية لبنت الملك

Teach me how to be as you want me because you are the king and I am your daughter

وريني كيفاه أنظف قلبي من الوجيعة إرحمني من جلد الذات

Show me how to cleanse my heart from pain. Have mercy on my from….

إحميني من ظلم الناس و داويني بمحبتك العظيمة خاطر هي دواء لجروحي كل

Protect me from the oppression of people. Heal me with your great love. Because it is the cure for all my wounds.