November 11-12, 2023

June of this year I traveled to Columbia, SC to offer trauma healing equipping. A couple from Oklahoma City participated in this equipping. His name is Ben and he is an Afghan believer. Can you see where this is going?

Fast forward to CCA in July, I see this couple again and they introduce me to their friends and pastors from OKC. They invite me to come offer trauma care to Afghan believers now with the hopes of returning in 2024 to equip Americans. 

Ben and I sat with 20+ Afghan believers over 2 days. To start, I am so grateful for him, his interpreting, and his cultural insights. He was not feeling well with a sore throat and runny nose, but God cared for him and allowed us to persevere. God is kind and shows us His love and care again and again. 

As I sat in a room as the only non-Afghan, I was humbled. Even after 20 years of being around Afghans, my cultural learning curve is steep. For example, during introductions (not very far into our time, ha!), I asked everyone to share their name and what they enjoyed from the previous week. It comes time for an older woman to share but she does not. She does not even share her name with us. She goes by “aunt.” Realize, I have experienced this before in other settings, but not in this type of setting. Immediately I utter to myself, “Lord Jesus help me listen well to You.” For the foreseeable future, this woman appeared to merely observe and not participate while comfortably sitting in the back of the room on the floor as is her custom. There were other cultural learning opportunities for me in the next two days. 

From our brief time of trauma care at CCA, I learned that we need to spend significant time raising joy BEFORE addressing any pain, loss, or suffering. Therefore Day 1 with our Afghan brothers and sisters was just that – joy building & quieting practices (if you want to know specifics, then contact me). We came back to those practices through the two days. I spoke about Jesus is always with us and He enjoys being with us even in difficult times or big emotions. 

Another thing that I remembered from our time at CCA was the need to talk about emotions and feelings from a cultural versus Biblical perspective. So we asked these questions: What does the Bible teach us about how to handle our feelings? What does your family or community tell you God is like, especially in times of suffering? We then looked at various OT prophets and passages about Jesus showing emotion and expressing their feelings. 

I decided to incorporate a practice that I learned from Adrian while in Finland. I asked everyone to think of a peaceful place or moment in their life then re-imagine being there. We would go back to this peaceful place or moment as an anchor throughout our time together. This is fairly similar to a gratitude memory which I have discussed in previous updates, but I then added a piece. I asked them to draw that place or moment. 

This addition was profound and significant for our time together. Ben and I noticed how much they enjoyed drawing, coloring, or just doodling. They participated more with the practices. So we made the adjustments to add more drawing or coloring into preexisting practices. The difference was so profound and significant that we had to allow more time. Plus, on the last day, Ben and I both noticed that the older woman who usually sat on the floor merely observing had come to the table and began coloring/drawing. Slow and steady. God is The Healer and Initiator. He has it. 

On the second day, after we spoke of and practiced lamenting, being a good listener, and Immanuel journaling, we then looked at the journey of grief (see below). I drew it on a whiteboard and Ben wrote the words in Dari. The discussion led to numerous questions so much so that we had to take a break before continuing. Their realization of being on the False Bridge or Westerners taking them on it was eye-opening. Understanding the back-and-forth normalcy between No Hope and Denial/Anger was helpful. One person asked, “does this ever end?” I responded, “what do you think?” He said, “no.” We then talked about the processing of pain, loss, and suffering with God and others. We also said that we cannot avoid pain in future but we now have some practices and exercises to help. 

Suffering is normal but suffering alone, or perceived loneliness, leads to trauma. Remember we as followers of Jesus are a people who suffer well. 

At the end of our time together, we asked everyone to share one thing that stood out over the two days. The responses centered on four areas:

• God is Always with me and Enjoys Being with me
• Emotions and Grief Journey
• Peaceful Practice
• Being a Good Listener

Here are some of their comments about these four areas.

God is with us even in difficulties. God is with us when we are happy and sad. We are not hopeless at any time. The wind makes us stronger (verbiage from Tree Exercise). We can give our pain to Jesus. 

During the peaceful practice, as everyone is imagining their place or moment, I asked, “what might God be communicating with you through this memory? Remember that even if you did not realize it, He was with you.” As with any practice or exercise, we allow for a time to share or ask questions. One person shared, “I never thought about God being with me in that memory. However, when you asked that question, I saw Jesus sitting next to me and gently placing His arm around my shoulder.” 

At the end of our time together, that same person’s take away was – I am so glad to know that God is always with me and ENJOYS being with me.

One woman responded, “I like seeing that the Prophets wept” then another woman said, “I do not have to rebuke myself for grieving.”

Many spoke of the peaceful practice. Finding peace. Returning to peace. Drawing the place or moment. 

Be a good listener and finding the right person to share with is important. Be a person and find a person who is safe, keeps things confidential, does not judge me, and listens with their body. 

Needless to say, God definitely showed up. He enjoys being with His children.